I am going to share a secret with you, internet. I am the coolest wife on earth. Seriously, I am. Let me tell you a story.

Every morning, Monday through Sunday I wake up at 7 a.m. with the kids and the dogs so my man can sleep. I get the kids up and ready and take them to school. I maintain peace and quite in the mornings. I let my man sleep in because I am the coolest wife on earth he needs his sleep because he is not just my man, he is The man. No, it doesn’t matter to me that we go to bed at the same time (1 a.m.) or that he sleeps until 10:30 a.m. and then gets up and goes to work at 12:30 every afternoon. None of that matters. What matters is that I sacrifice and my man is happy. That’s what is really important here.

A few weeks ago, on a bright and sunny Sunday morning, my man woke up and had a froggy throat. He called to me from the bedroom “wife. Coolest wife? I need you.” I did what any loving, caring, coolest wife on earth would do. I sacrificed. I peeled the warmth of two dogs off my lap and went to see what exactly he needed. I knew the moment I saw him. I knew he did indeed need me. As the coolest wife on the planet, I gave the ultimate gift of giving on a Sunday morning. I put on a bra and shoes and I went to the store to get my man some drugs. I hooked him up fat with Sudafed, Musinex, TheraFlu and throat soothing cough drop thingies. He felt better within a couple days and do you know how he repaid me?

Did he let me sleep in? No. Did he make me breakfast on the weekend? No. Did he take the kids to school all week? No. He did what any loving, caring husband would do.

He gave me his cold.