Willpower and Desire for Now

I seriously started trying to lose weight in September. By seriously, I mean I quit moaning and growing about being fat and not being able to fit into my pants. I made a couple immediate changes. I stopped drinking soda. I would usually have at least two cokes a day. I switched to cranberry juice mixed with water. I drank more water. I set an alarm on my phone for every hour to remind me to get up and walk back and drink a glass of water. I bought breakfast bars and kept them at my desk. I read and downloaded pages and pages of exercises that I could do. Starting slow to eventually bring myself up to the point of being able to run. I have never, and I mean never in my whole life, been able to run without losing my breath early on. My knees hurt. My hips hurt. My ankles hurt. However, running looks so free. I want to get to the point that I can put on my earphones, turn up the music and run for two miles, even if it is just a slow run. I want to do it. I read and read on the internet searching the best diet supplement that wouldn’t remind me of the days when I took a certain supplement that was marketed by a certain blond bombshell who turned up dead of a drug overdose a couple years ago. I cut back my portions. I found I didn’t need a supplement (so far anyway).

I have lost 22 pounds since Labor day. I can fit into my size 14 jeans again. They are not too snug. They fit like they used to. I have decided that I want to lose another 30 pounds. That would bring me down to what I weighed when I got married 15 years ago. It was also what I weighed both times I got pregnant. My youngest daughter is turning 10 on Monday. It would be nice to lose all that baby weight I’ve been carrying around for 10 years.

It is also amazing how different I feel about myself now that I see actual changes. I have lost two inches from my hips and thighs. One inch from each arm and three inches from my stomach. We won’t discuss how my breasts have shrunk. That part is a real downer. Overall, I’m feeling good about myself and knowing that I have gained back the willpower to change how I look. Because for the longest time, it was a combination of lazy, sad and lack of willpower that was keeping me fat.

Here’s to 2010 and continued change!